


Answered Prayers

by Chicktar



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sam Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 07:09:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13184937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chicktar/pseuds/Chicktar
Summary: Cas hears Dean's prayers.For fandorica as thanks for beta reading for me the last couple of months completely without any regular schedule and just out of the goodness of her heart.  Happy New Year to you!





	Answered Prayers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fandorica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandorica/gifts).



"Sam, it wouldn't be right, to listen in to Dean's thoughts without his knowledge."

"They're prayers.  You used to listen to them all the time."

"I'm not an angel anymore, Sam.  So if he's praying to me he's not really...praying."

"Cas, you have to trust me on this.  I've made sure Rowena's spell will only let you hear Dean's prayers to you.  None of his other thoughts will be exposed to you."

Cas stared at Sam, his face pinched with worry.

"Cas, he's not doing well.  Please."  And with that all of Cas's scruples crumbled before his concern for Dean.  If Dean needed him there was nothing he was unwilling to do--no barrier he wouldn't smash, no precept he wouldn't break, no damnation he wouldn't risk.

Cas nodded his head.  "Very well.  When will this take effect?"

"Tonight at midnight.  It'll last 24 hours."

"And then what?"

"I don't know, man.  We'll see, okay?  I'm hoping you'll know what to do from Dean--that something he prays will reveal--something."

Cas stared at Sam again, his head tilting automatically to one side as he gazed up at Dean's younger brother.  He'd felt a twinge of suspicion as Sam spoke--but all he saw in Sam's face and felt from him were worry and concern for Dean.  And perhaps a little for Castiel as well. 

"Alright.  I'll talk to you after tomorrow then."

~~~~~~~~~~

12:37 AM

Cas lay in his bed.  Even though he was human now he still had trouble falling asleep at night.  And it was worse now, never knowing when Dean's voice might pop into his head--what might be going on with Dean--how in the world he would ever be able to help him.  He tried to picture Dean, but it was like a mist surrounded the vision in his mind. 

"Casss..." Dean's voice was quiet and low in his head.  He sounded intoxicated.

"Nnnhh...Cas, man, fuck..."  Dean's voice seemed to almost fade in and out of Cas's head.  He wondered if Dean was falling asleep or...distracted and only partially concentrating on his prayer to Cas.  After all, he knew Cas couldn't hear his prayers anymore...he couldn't really place the same force of intent to be heard behind thoughts he never meant to actually be heard.

"...wish you were here, man..."  Cas started up in bed.  His instinct was to fly to Dean's side, but...he couldn't.  He wasn't an angel anymore.  And Dean couldn't mean it.  If he wanted Cas with him, he would have called and asked.  But he hadn't.  He hadn't called Cas in months.  Endless weeks of drifting and loneliness and loss.

"...Cassss..."  Dean's voice was coming clearer now.  Sounding less intoxicated.  And more urgent.

"...want you...fucking...Unnh...fucking want you so bad..."  Cas sat bolt upright in his bed.  Listening to Dean's voice husking inside his head.

"...bet you'd feel so good..."  _What_...was Dean?

"...'d make you feel so good..."  Cas could swear he was hearing Dean panting now in between his words.  Heavy, rhythmic breaths.  The sound was nothing like any prayer he'd ever heard.  This spell was letting him hear more than he should.  But it was in his head.  He couldn't exactly tune it out.  And he didn't want to.  He wanted to hear this low, scratchy, breathless version of Dean.

"...make you so fucking hot, Angel..."  Because yes, Dean was definitely masturbating.

"...my Angel...my Cas..."  Masturbating to thoughts of Castiel.

"...be so gorgeous here in my bed, Cas...lay you down and taste you all over...bet you taste fucking amazing..." Cas's head was reeling.  Dean...wanted...he'd always imagined...but he never thought Dean...

"...wanna put my tongue so deep inside you..."  He felt hot all over and his head was spinning.

"...bet I could make you squirm so good...unnhh...make you so hungry, Angel..."  Cas fell back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling as Dean's voice seemed to speed up and gain urgency.

"...bet I could make you hungry for me...make you want me inside you..."  Cas's hand was in his sleep pants and on his cock now.

"...yeah, Cas, you want this, Angel...here if you want me, baby..."  Cas stroked himself roughly, trying to mimic the rhythm of Dean's breathing.

"...Casss....fuck...so hot...oh yeah...'d jus slide in you...so good...be so perfect..."  Cas was already so close.  Dean was saying his name.  Dean was thinking of him.

"...gonna make...you come...with me...fuck you...so good..."  Of being _with_ him.  Of being _inside_ of him.

"...ooohhh....Casss....yeah...yeah...fuckin...good...Angel...unnnhh....Cas..."  Cas's vision suddenly cleared and he saw Dean's face clearly, his green eyes sparkling, his jaw line covered with stubble, his lips full and pink and soft and wet looking.  He was so beautiful it drove Cas over the edge and his orgasm took him just as Dean's must have as Dean's words disappeared and all Cas heard in his mind was a loud drawn out groan and then heavy breathing slowly calming and quieting and drifting to nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~

4:08 AM

"Sorry, Cas.  Sorry for everything.  I didn't mean to send you away.  I miss you so much, man.  I'm so fucking lost without you.  I didn't...I didn't know.  I thought....  Doesn't matter.  You deserve everything.  Everything good.  I mean. fuck, of course you do.  You're a fucking angel.  A goddamn celestial being.  And I'm...nothing.  I've done so much wrong.  So much I....  Whatever.  I just...I hope wherever you are...I hope you're figuring out how to find some happiness in this life.  Find a new purpose.  And maybe eventually find someone.  Somebody worthy.  Somebody who deserves you.  Someone to hold you and....  Fuck.  I'm sorry I couldn't handle being around for that.  For watching that.  For seeing someone else in your arms.  Somebody else making you smile and quirk your head over like you do.  But you're gonna have that.  I know you are.  You're just too...much...too good...  It's gonna work out for you.  I just couldn't...  I can't watch....  Just fucking love you too much..."

~~~~~~~~~~

9:13 AM

"Cas.  Wish you could fucking hear me.  Wish you were still an angel and you could come get this fucking moose out of here.  Splitting headache and hangover from hell and he's waking me up for some fucking groceries bullshit."

~~~~~~~~~~

2:21 PM

Cas sat at his kitchen table, a sandwich half finished in front of him.  His last few hours had been interrupted steadily by little glimpses into Dean's day.  As Dean's mind commented to Cas and he remembered what had grown between them.  He'd almost forgotten how Dean had prayed to him more and more until finally he was almost just sharing his thoughts with Cas more than really praying or communicating anything of import.  Over the years it had become less about prayer and more about something else.  It wasn't the message that mattered.  It was just that Dean knew Cas was listening.  And Cas knew Dean was alive.  And they were...connected.

~~~~~~~~~~

7:50 PM

"Cas.  I don't know if I can do this, man.  Your fucking buddy Gabriel put Sam up to this.  A fucking sex club.  Seriously.  Who do they think I'm gonna meet there?  Think I'm gonna see some Dom with dark hair and blue eyes and just melt at his feet and beg for the chance to call him Sir?"  Cas jolted from the rush of equal parts arousal and shame at his own arousal that rushed through him at that thought.  Did Dean's thought mean something more than just a passing phrase?  Would he want to be dominated?  By Cas???

~~~~~~~~~~

9:48 PM

"Cas...gonna try, Cas...okay...for you..."  _What?!_

"Suck his cock like I always wanted to do yours..."  Cas was on his feet, moving to the door and grabbing his overcoat.

"See, Cas...yeah...have you in my mouth...taste you..."  Cas stood impotently before the door.  Nowhere to go.  Nothing he could do.  No way to stop Dean's voice in his head.  Or Dean's mouth on some other man's body.

"F'k me, Cas, wan' taste..."

~~~~~~~~~~

10:03 PM

"Not you.  Nothin like you, Cas.  Gotta go.  Gotta get out.  Home."

~~~~~~~~~~

10:22 PM

Castiel stared at the phone in his hand.  "SAM" was flashing on the screen as the chime tone rang out.  He clicked accept.

"Cas?"

"Sam?"

"Have you talked to Dean?"

"Talked to him?  No.  I've been hearing him all day.  But he isn't really talking to me, is he?"

"Cas!  Listen, we're at a club and I think Dean went home.  He isn't here anymore but he didn't take Baby.  He wasn't drunk but he's just so depressed--I don't know what's going on with him and I'm afraid--  I've been calling but he won't answer."

"He isn't going to answer for me, either."

"Well, I know, I mean, maybe not, but...I want to stay here with his car in case he comes back here cuz I'm not really sure if he left for good or not.  Will you go to the bunker?"

"Yes."

"Thanks, Cas."

"Goodbye, Sam."

He clicked the end call button and stared at his phone for a moment.  Then he was out the door and stealing the neighbor's sedan and speeding out toward the highway.

~~~~~~~~~~

11:14 PM

He rushed into the bunker and saw immediately Dean's brown leather coat in a lump on the floor just inside the door.  Followed by a trail of Dean's boots and socks.  His panic had risen to an all time high as Dean's prayers had ceased for over an hour, leaving him alone to imagine the worst.  Cas rushed down the hall to Dean's room, where the door was closed.  He stood outside it uncertain if he should enter, or knock or just leave.  He was reasonably certain Dean was in there.  Safe and sound.  But without seeing it with his own eyes, especially since he hadn't heard Dean's prayers, he couldn't be certain.  He couldn't call Sam and promise him Dean was safe.  Not until he saw him.  He raised his hand to knock.

"Cas."  His hand stilled in the air.

"I just...fuck, man...I wish..."  He was holding his breath.

"I hope you're good.  Like, not good.  Like ecstatic.  Like happy.  Really fucking happy.  God, I just...I want that for you, Cas.  I wanted it with you for so long.  And I know...I know I can't..." Cas could heard Dean's voice in stereo now.  It was clear in his head but he could also hear it vibrating lowly through the door at the same time.  Dean was speaking out loud to him.

And he'd had enough.  He knocked sharply at the door and then reached for the knob and pushed it open.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that Dean had a gun drawn on him by the time he had the door ajar.

"Fuck, Cas!" Dean said, putting the safety on his gun and lowering it.  "What the hell are you doing here?"

Cas stepped into the room and paused at the foot of Dean's bed.  Dean didn't move from where he was seated on the edge of his bed.  He just set the gun on his nightstand and looked up at Cas.

"I'm...Sam called..."

"Christ."  Dean shook his head and his hand went to rub at the back of his neck.  "I'm sorry he bothered you, man.  He's just paranoid lately.  I'm fine.  He just...he and Gabriel tried to drag me to this club and it wasn't....  Whatever.  I left.  I should have told him.  I'm sorry you had to come all the way out here."

Cas looked at Dean.  He looked...beautiful.  As always.  But Sam was right.  He wasn't well.  He looked drained in some important hard to explain way.  He looked shallow--like a picture of Dean Winchester, flat and lacking the life and charisma that made Dean so magnificent.  He stepped around Dean's bed and knelt in front of him.

"I'm not sorry, Dean."

"What--Cas?  Um...what's--"

"I love you."

Dean's eyes widened and their eyes locked.  The moment stretched into a pause.  And then continued.  And then Dean gave a tiny shake of his head and looked down and away and Cas reached out and took Dean's hands in his.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean's eyes, which had locked onto their hands for a moment now flew back up to meet Cas's.  "I know, Cas.  I love you, too, man.  Okay?  So I'm fine and you can tell Sam I'm fine and--"

"No."

Dean stopped midstream.  "No?"

"Dean, I love you.  Not the way I love Sam.  Not the way I love the rest of God's creation.  I love _you_.  And even if you send me away, you're not going to do it until I know that you understand that.  That you know I consider you the most perfect and beautiful of all living things.  That I want to be with you.  As partners.  And lovers.  As everything I can be or that you will let me be to you.  That I want to hold you and touch you and taste you and learn what makes your body sing.  That I want to feel you inside me and to be inside you.  That I want to watch you laugh and smile and eat pie and burgers and drive your Baby and listen to your old cassette tapes and watch your action movies and anything else that brings life and joy to you.  That I intend to spend the rest of my life trying to convince you to let me do all those things.  Because I love you, Dean.  I may not have been human very long, but I have been an angel.  I have seen all that this world and humanity has to offer.  I have watched over them and you and I know that the love I have for you will never be surpassed.  Not if I lived ten thousand lives after this one.  To me, Dean, you are everything that is precious and beautiful about humanity."

Dean was just staring at him.  Cas swallowed.

"And I think you love me, too."

Dean's head dipped, as if he suddenly couldn't meet Cas's eyes. 

Cas brought his right hand up and cupped Dean's chin, lifting his head back up until their eyes locked again.

"Do you, Dean?"

There was a heavy pause between them.  For one second, that stretched into two.  And then five.

Then Dean breathed out roughly, "Yes."

And Cas could feel the large smile breaking out over his own face, and knew it was the kind that showed gums and made him feel slightly ridiculous if he saw it in a picture.

"Of course I fucking love you, Cas.  But--"

"No, Dean.  We're not doing buts anymore."

Dean raised one eyebrow and Cas felt a strange relief to see Dean's sly humor still there under the heaviness that grown over him.

"Just agree, Dean.  You don't have to agree to forever.  Just agree to give us a chance.  One real, honest, serious chance.  One chance to let me make you happy and to show you how happy being with you makes me.  Because it does.  I have been lost without you, Dean.  Just say yes to me tonight.  Please."  His hands were back to squeezing both of Dean's hands and he had scooted unconsciously closer, pressing almost between Dean's knees now, rising up on his own knees, their faces only inches apart.

And so he waited.  Dean's eyes stayed on his, seeming to flit back and forth as if searching for something there.  But he wasn't flinching away and he wasn't arguing.  So Cas waited.  And he was the one who prayed for a change.  Prayed for Dean to feel all the love he had for this gorgeous, flawed and still somehow perfect man.  Prayed for Dean to release his insecurities for just this one moment.  Prayed for the chance to spend at least this one night in Dean's arms.  Knowing he would be praying for all of the same things again the next morning even if they came true tonight.  For Dean he would work and pray and plead for eternity.

"Yes."

It was quiet.  But it wasn't tentative.  It had Dean's decisive, going into battle tone.  And it made Cas's heart leap in his chest.  He felt himself tip forward and then finally, after years of wondering and teasing and wanting and waiting, Dean's lips were agianst his, soft and pliable and somehow so warm.  And so changing.  Soft and then strong.  Closed and then opening and then his tongue swiped over Cas's lips and then his teeth nibbled at Cas's lip and Cas lost himself in Dean.  

 

 


End file.
